Saturday, November 26

Uncertainty


I was so stressful for the past week. It truly affects me throughout the process. I was stuck and sandwich in between of everything. I was so level headed above for my future that it stopped me from enjoying the present of life. I kept on thinking about how my future should be, this is the way to my future, I'm going to do this so I can have this future ahead, I will do this now so it will be better later. I was so engrossed with my future I don't have the time to enjoy my present. I'm so stuck in going forward I'm not looking at my surrounding at all. 

I am not enjoying my youth at all. Not at all. I am being too cautious of everything and I wouldn't make myself stepping into different path. I am so scared of taking new challenges which is why I have been going for the safe path. I haven't experience the fun, thrilled, love, adventurous life. I told my BFF about these frustration of mine and she knocked me out of it. She told me ''why bother and stressful about the things you have not experience? Go love, go flirt, go date, go experience, be adventurous, enjoy your youth, and have fun in your present now.''

To tell you the truth, when I declared (I mean decided 😅😅) to study abroad I was worried. Especially the money. Even up until now I was worried about the cost and expenses I need to pay for. Next month which is December, tuition fee due for my diploma course, next year 2017 UK cousin's graduation trip, what else? (let's see 😄) Oh I might transfer to Perth new uni (due to household problem 😟), like starting all over again. All the dilemma that I'm not suppose to worries makes me worried. I'm so stressful right now GAHHHHHHHHHH SHIT LIFE SHIT LIFE. HOW CAN I ENJOY LIFE LIKE THIS WITH ALL THE FRUSTRATION AND STRESS STUCK even though I try not to make it into my problem. 

See how it goes. At least let me get over with the moving part first. 2 more days till moving out! 



Till then,
Cheers and God Bless. 


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